Not Yet

It's just an opinion of one person.
Yeah,
Sometimes I get carried away,
With the prospect of having little me(s),
With a stable income,
A white picket fence kind of life.

I am not going to lie.

I wanted that life.

Just not now.
Right now,
I want to have a career,
Stable income,
Lots of cats.

I want to read books I've never even dreamed I would read.
I want to go places I have wanted for so long.
And maybe more.
I want to live the four seasons we don't have here in Malaysia.
Though I've experienced autumn.
I want to learn myself before I learn to be with others.
I want to be with my family and siblings until they get tired of me.
I want to try the food I've even never even heard of.
So many things to do.
So many lists to be achieved.

I don't want to live in regret,
Feeling empty that I've lived for nothing.
Just getting married,
Having kids,
Raising them,
Till I die.

I don't want that.

This Must Be It

Tell me about the dream,
Where we pull the bodies out of the lake,
And dress them in warm clothes again.

How it was late,
And no one could sleep,
The horses running until they forget,
That they are horses.

It's not like a tree,
Where the roots have to end somewhere,
It's more like a song on a policeman's radio,
How we rolled up the carpet so we could dance,
And the days were bright red,
And every time we kissed,
There was another apple to slice into pieces.

Look at the light through the windowpane,
That means it's noon,
That means we're inconsolable.

Tell me how all this,
And love too,
Will ruin us.

These,
Our bodies,
Possessed by light,
Tell me we'll never get used to it.

London, Amsterdam, Paris, and Reyan Khogani

Our Europe trip hasn't ended yet,
But I'm tempted to write.

This is our last stop before we go back to Malaysia.

I didn't expect him.
And to be honest,
I don't expect a happy ending.
A beautiful yet short-lived feeling,
Maybe.

But still,
It stirred something inside me.
A longing,
I guess?

I'm just gonna leave the marriage and fate to Allah SWT,
Then.