Stitch In Time

Rozairi contacted me recently.
He said he thought deeply about this,
About us.

But when we broke it off a couple months ago,
I never had second thoughts about it anymore.
I was happy.

Then "he" happened.
And I had doubts.
I never was the one to make up my mind on one's thing,
But I had doubts.

Many people sans my sister,
Told me to accept him.
That I will never find a man,
Who is as nice and kind as he is.

It was never him.
It was me.

As cliché as it is,
I am the problem.
I am not gonna drag a normal man to the abyss of insanity with me.

He deserves better.
A good woman.

I am not.

I am a broken, messed up piece of shattered, delirious lunatic.

And I am perfectly happy being a demented crackers.

Freedom

"What do you get by being unmarried?"

My freedom.

I don't have to change my appearances to please a man.
I can wear my sweatpants and my ruffled t-shirt.

I don't have to be guilty if I wake up late for breakfast.
I don't have to prepare a proper meal that no one will appreciate.

I can go anywhere without feeling afraid someone might disapprove.
I can read and buy books without counting the bills for my responsibility.
I will have time for myself.

I don't have to try take care of my in-laws' feelings.
I don't have to take care of anyone else beside myself and my family's.

I am free of responsibility.
I am free of heartbreaks.
I am free of heartaches.
I am free of arguments.

I am myself.

I can be myself.