Of Choices

I didn't want to write about it,
Because I was afraid I would jinx it.

But when I confronted Him for the closure I needed,
I was actually befriended someone.

One of the main reasons I need the closure,
Is for me to open up wholly to someone again.
A chance to love properly again.

Then entered Faizal and Aliff Afify in my life.

How ironic was it,
During my PPISMP year,
I used to say the traits I wanted in a husband,
Are Kelantanese and older than me.
Which suits Faizal the most.

When Allah SWT finally granted my wish,
I hesitated.

Because my heart was focused on someone else.
Someone who gave up on me,
Someone who is the reason I am depressed,
Someone who makes me the person I am today.

Now that I am trying to live again,
He makes me comfortable with him.

I was able to be a child again.
Be an idiot.

About Aliff Afify,
I am still wary of him,
Still guarded.
But the girls didn't know about our friendship.

I don't want to mar it with their opinions.
So I kept it a secret.

He is a new friend,
And I don't know what path God has for us,
The three of us,
But I am happy,
Because what almost killed me,
Gave me strength to smile right now,
Love.