After thinking that I finally gained my freedom,
I'm stuck in the mud again.
Or maybe Allah SWT has plans for me in the future,
I don't know.
In shaa Allah,
Maybe.
I am a bitter, egotistical misanthrope.
That much,
I know.
And I am fairly sure that I am not a patient person.
When things get rough,
It's far too much easy to leave everything,
And start over.
I've been hurt for so long,
Hurting others is not a hard task for me.
I don't care for anything else other than myself.
I was so content to not think about marriages,
Or how pissed I was at Mum and him,
And just focusing on my internship and vacation next week;
Until Mum brought up the marriage issue.
Well,
It is a good thing she managed to see that she was the problem,
But I'm just so tired,
And I don't feel like getting married anymore.
But things never go as we planned it,
Right?
Right now I'm torn up between being a "Yes Man" to Mum,
Or standing up to my decision to not get married.
Frankly,
I was hoping he'd come clear to his family,
Saying that I broke up with him,
And that I am not in the mood to get married anymore.
I will be a good servant,
Just please undo all this please.
Let me be alone.
I want to be left alone.
I'm just so tired and bitter,
Everything that happened to me,
I 'd discard them easily because I've nothing left in my heart.
It's just an empty shell with a large spot of darkness.
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