Freaking Out

HOW DO I WIFE???

No, seriously.
Not a rhetorical question.

How do I wife?
I don't know how to wife.
What if I suck in this wife business?
What if I fail miserably and humiliated myself?

What if I made a fool out of myself?

Is this really it?
Am I gonna end my lazy single life like this?
How do I take care of someone else?
I'm not even sane,
Or adult enough to take care of myself!
If I were to take care of a goldfish,
It'll die within a week!

I will accidentally kill my husband.
And will be sentenced to jail,
Probably for arson,
Or poisoning him.

Oh my Lord..

Oh my Goodness Lord.

Fine.
I'm already miserable my whole life.
They won't take anything from me,
When I already have nothing.

(No, don't go there, self.
You'll jinx things, again.)

Come hell or high water,
I will brave this with all the sanity I have,
Or what's left of it, 
Anyway.