This Feeling

I thought by befriending someone who likes me,
Will make it better than went head-first into a relationship,
And resulting me breaking people's hearts,
Again and again.

How wrong was I.

I loved Ritsu.
I've always wanted to be like him.
But I'm more to Kisa.

In life,
I know what I want,
But then again,
I had doubts,
Second thoughts,
And "what if"s.

I am scared,
Of the people who likes me,
Will be a hindrance of me getting what I want.

I feel like it was such a stupid thing to do,
When I said I was thankful for the gift.

Look what happened to Zafik.
He couldn't let go.

And Chai.
He wouldn't give up.

And Aliff Afify.
I liked him well enough to be friends,
But then I don't really know,
Since when did I gave him hope,
Even when we are not in relationship.

I'm scared.
I'm scared of these people.
I want to be left alone.

Leave me alone.