Old Woman, Little Girl.

Been home for awhile,
Three days to be exact.

It was pure heaven.
Except for the fact that we still have a black sheep,
Roaming around in the family,
Making a black spot,
Whereas in a perfectly shiny and clean place.

Before this,
I told Jai that I won't be coming home.
But when I woke up from nap at 5 p.m. last Thursday,
I want to come home.

So I came home.
It's the thing with Libra,
We don't know what to choose.
I, of course want to come back home,
What I loathe is the journey.
But then,
Meh.

It's not like I don't know my priority,
I do,
I am just too lazy to work at it.

I remember about me being called,
"An old woman in a little girl's body",
From my friends.

Because I listen to oldies,
Because sometimes I act motherly,
Because I take pride in being called "old",
Because I always act like a parent in the car,
Asking them to wear seatbelts and recite prayers,
Sometimes I'd nag Said about her not eating her veggies,
And most of the times I worry when Saba doesn't get enough sleep,
I worry whether Jai can overcome her flu,
I worry if Zetty keeps her sadness on her own again,
I worry if Dila still hasn't stop living in the past.

I know I don't need to worry about my family,
Because we would always support each other,
Because we're not ones to keep it for ourselves,
Even when Mum doesn't express her feelings to us,
She has Dad,
Who always puts her before himself,
And her him.

I put my beloveds first,
Because I learned that from my family.
But sometimes I forgot,
By putting others before myself,
Makes me always to put myself second.

I'd hurt,
Without even realizing I was hurting,
Until it's too late.

I'd get scared.
Not scared of being hurt,
Scared of letting go about everything,
That I will be unable to feel anymore.

Isn't that what insanity do to people?
They forget their emotions,
They forget their priorities,
They forget how to function.

Hello children.

my, my, what big eyes you have, Gramma.

All the better to see you with, dear.