Replay

I thought,
By the end of AR paper of semester 7,
I'd finally will get over my insomnia,
Finally will be able to get a good night sleep.

How wrong was I.

The scene of PJA spinning that night,
Me and my hands shaking,
Lips chanting "Astaghfirullahal'azim",
Heartbeat skyrocketing,
Breaths laboring,
And the prospect of death,
I couldn't get over it.

The scene would replay itself,
In an endless cycle of terror.

I'm going crazy.

I assured my friends I am okay,
I assured everyone everything is fine,
But I know it is not.

The past is in the past,
But the feelings,
And the memories will always haunt me.
I know I was in the wrong,
But blaming me is not going to change anything.
The one who was on the verge of death was me.
Me.
I was gonna die.

What more can you possibly put me on death sentence for??
I was scared.
I'm still scared.