Defense

My only defense is my ability to run away from troublesome situation by making myself invisible.

I'd shut myself off,
I'd block them far away,
I'll ignore every calls and texts,
And I drive everyone away by being insufferable.

Right now,
Even before everything starts,
My own very defense mechanism,
Shouts "run away as far as you can".

Granted,
Before I got anxious and pantsed in my brain haemorrhage,
All these amused me so.

But after awhile,
It got superficial,
And I just wants to shut this off,
And run away.

I got scared.
And I think of getting away.
I am just so scared.
And scarred.